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There is no shortage of things we can worry about in motherhood, regardless of what stage we are in. Worry is thinking about all the potentially negative (from your perspective) possibilities that could eventuate in the future. The what-ifs. Sometimes these...
A man walks through the door and greets his wife. “What did you do today?”, he asks. “Nothing” she says in a weary tone. “I didn’t get anything done!” Truth is, she’s hardly taken a breath. She’s spent her entire day cleaning and tidying, preparing food, organising,...
Have you ever called yourself a bad mum, either out loud or in your mind? I certainly have and I know many other mums have too. I’ve been thinking about this label that we use. Why is it so prevalent? What does it even mean? And what is the impact of using it? I’m...
Society tells us that perfectionism is a good thing. Perhaps you too have been praised and rewarded for your high capacity, high standards, and meticulous work. You may have also believed that perfectionism was the same as trying your best and showing your commitment...
How would you define a strong woman? Perhaps you might use some of the following descriptions: Physically strong Confident Hard to persuade Unflappable Resilient Determined Independent In control Focused on her goals. I used to think that being a strong woman...
Have you ever heard that saying that goes something like “I was a much better parent before I had children”? I love it. Parenting is often much harder than we expect. We imagine that parenting will involve joyous afternoons at the park, quiet snuggles on the lounge (I...
Do you know what your personal values are? Defining and aligning to our personal values can help us feel motivated, inspired and live a rich and meaningful life. When we know what’s most important to us we can look for ways to have more of this in our lives. In...
You know you need some help and you’ve decided you’re going to ask for it. That’s a huge step in itself. Asking for help can be really hard, especially for mothers in modern society where there are some very unrealistic expectations placed on women to do it all,...
“Can you help me?” Four little words. They seem so simple yet mothers everywhere find them near impossible to say. What makes it hard is the meaning we attribute to asking for help. Without that meaning, asking for help is a neutral activity, neither positive or...
Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are stories that we tell ourselves that aren’t necessarily true. They are distortions or negative interpretations of ourselves, what is happening around us, the past or the future, based on our beliefs and assumptions. ANTs happen...
We all know that if you have a healthy reproductive cycle, we have a period every 28 days or so, but did you know that there is a constant evolution happening inside of you each month - the way we feel, act, burn energy in the middle of the month is very different to...
Have there been times when you have you kept quiet when you had something to say? For example, when... Someone crossed your boundary or hurt you? Another child mistreated your child? You didn’t want to do something you were being asked to do? You didn’t agree? Someone...
Sadness, burnout, fear, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, frustration, anger, resentment, shame, embarrassment, disgust. Mothers feel them. But often we don’t like to talk about them. What will people think? If perfect mum is always composed, in control, calm, happy, on top...
Perfectionism is patterns of thinking and behaviours driven by the constant need to be or appear perfect (without flaws). It could also be described as the need to avoid being inadequate (anything less than perfect). For many years I proudly called myself a...
When my son was 4, he was playing in the playground after kindergarten and decided to give the monkey bars a try. He always watched the other children swinging across but still liked me to hold him as he moved his arms from bar to bar. This time he wanted to do it...
This is part 2 of a two-part series on navigating your return to work. You can read part 1 here. Welcome back to this blog series on navigating your return to work! Returning to paid work (even if it's a job you love) can be a challenging and emotional experience....
Before motherhood, I loved my job. I willingly put in long hours and massive amounts of effort and commitment to do a good job. I travelled regularly, took work home and derived a lot of satisfaction, pride and also a sense of identity from my paid work. As the...
Letting go is a lesson and practice we live through over and over again. Life continues to present us with new opportunities to let go and sometimes we have such a tight grip on things, it takes several attempts to fully release. I love this quote from Ahjan Chah: “If...
Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I’ll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...
When my son was about 16 months old, I started to think about returning to work. I'd always expected I would return to the demanding corporate job that I loved. That’s what career women do. I expected I would place my son in childcare. That’s what working mothers do....
I know that we’re expected to be loving motherhood, sailing through each day with a smile on our faces. That’s the myth of the perfect mum. In reality, we all have bad days and we don’t have to pretend that everything is wonderful when it’s not. Allowing ourselves to...
Ever feel like you’re getting this self-care thing wrong? Not doing enough or doing too much. Not wanting to do it, not enjoying it enough or doing it with so much guilt. Not being consistent, not sticking to your plans or not starting at all. Not doing the right...
Dear Perfectionism, I’ve decided it’s time we parted ways. We’ve been together a long time. I’m not even sure how it happened, but somewhere in childhood you became my constant companion. You came with me into adulthood and by that time I thought you were an asset. I...
I don't know about you, but no one ever mentioned to me that motherhood might change who I am. I received plenty of advice and information about how to care for my baby and some guidance around how to tend to my own practical needs, like sleep, nutrition and...
Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I’ll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...
I’m fascinated by volcanoes. My heart raced with excitement and awe when I stood in the hot steam rising from the ground, walked across kilometres of lava rock, and flew in a helicopter over the crater of the active volcano in Hawaii. When...
Balance. It can be a tricky topic. Some women idealise the concept of balance and are constantly trying to achieve it. Others reject the idea that it’s possible and refuse to use the word at all. Some prefer to call it integration or harmony. Let's have a quick look...
In this blog, I'm delighted to introduce you to Hayley Thiele, mum, step mum and Founder of She Can Thrive. Hayley was thrown a curve ball in her motherhood journey and is now using her experiences to help other mums who are craving connection with someone who...
Does taking a break feel impossible? The sheer thought it makes you anxious or uncomfortable? Motherhood can feel all consuming, and when you add all the other responsibilities you're carrying, there just doesn’t seem to be time for a break. I’m not even necessarily...
Many mums have told me that while they know exercise is important for wellbeing, they struggle to make it a part of their regular activities. That's why I've invited Claire Cole, Personal Trainer and Founder of Movement for Mums, to share her insights into how to make...
Ever thought about journaling but don’t know where to start, how to find the time or how to get it right? Maybe you're reluctant to confront those emotions and thoughts you’re currently keeping under wraps? Maybe you’ve tried it, and weren’t able to be...
You may have heard the buzz around gut health lately. It seems like gut health is the new “in vogue” thing when it comes to the health industry and the products marketed to us at the moment. Luckily, this is one trend that I can really get behind, because the...
Do you feel like you’re constantly comparing yourself or being compared to the ideal of a perfect mother? With so much information and advice out there “helping” us to get things “right” so that our children will be the most intelligent, happiest and the most...
When things aren't going the way we want them to, or we aren't coping as well as we think we should be, we can get caught up in criticising and judging ourselves. This can seem like a helpful and productive way to motivate ourselves to better actions and outcomes but...
Alone time is an important part of caring for our wellbeing. Having time to just be who we are, to rest and relax, helps us feel happier, healthier, more energised and refreshed. Without it, in the long run, we can start to see negative impacts to our mental,...
There's something important you need to know about your brain. It likes to be right. Being right feels good (thanks to the chemicals released in your brain) and it takes way less energy than always challenging your current view of the world. This means that, thanks...
Do you ever wish you were a calmer parent? A more connected parent? I think we all have moments where we miss the bar we set for ourselves in these areas. Parenting challenges us in ways we've never been challenged before and with every new child, and every new...
Since late last year, I’ve had the privilege of looking after my stepdaughter’s beautiful baby girl once a week. It’s a pretty fortunate position to be in; I get to enjoy all the cuddles, smiles and fun, and build a lovely connection with her, but then (providing my...
When you think about your life as it is now, how do you feel? How do you want to feel? How similar or different are your two responses? I don’t know about you, but motherhood was not quite what I thought it would be. Somehow, I thought it would be easier and...
Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I’ll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...
From mid December and all the way through January we are surrounded by messages about reflecting on the year that is coming to an end and creating new year's resolutions. What did you achieve? What didn’t you achieve? How will you improve? What will you do next? Who...
It’s nearly the end of the year and many of us are reflecting, thinking about what we’ve accomplished (or not quite achieved), enjoyed, found challenging and what we want to be different for the coming year. How has 2019 been for you? Has it fulfilled you? Brought you...
The Christmas season provides plenty of opportunities to go beyond your usual limits. For example: How much you spend How often you socialise How much alcohol you drink How many responsibilities you take on How much sleep you get What you eat Who you spend time with....
“How are you?” “I'm exhausted all the time” “Well, that’s to be expected, you’re a mum!” Have you ever had a conversation like that? It seems to be a commonly held belief that once you enter motherhood, you are destined to be exhausted for a looooong time. At...
In my previous blog post, I wrote about how to say no with kindness and respect. While exploring the reasons that saying no is difficult, something came up that really resonated with the More to Mum community – people pleasing. I received numerous messages from mums,...
I get asked for advice on how to say no all the time and I realised I hadn’t actually written a blog about it! So, here we are. Do you ever think “no, no, no, no, no “ and then hear the word “yes” slip out of your mouth? Or, do you say yes, and then spend ages feeling...
Do you: Find it hard to focus or be present with the people you love? Notice your mind always racing, thinking of what’s next, worrying about the future and replaying the past? Find yourself on autopilot, not really conscious of what you're doing? Feel exhausted,...
Have you found your tribe? "You know, the ones that make you feel the most YOU. The ones that lift you up and help you remember who you really are. The ones that remind you that a blip in the road is just that, a blip. They are the ones that when you walk out...
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, and at no additional cost to you, I'll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the links. I'll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...
Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I’ll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...
Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I'll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I'll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...
Life comes with a multitude of definitions of success In my years as a corporate workaholic, my success was defined by a whole lot of external measures. The number of hours I worked, the company I worked at, the hierarchical level of my position, the targets I hit,...
Are you so busy making sure that everyone else is looked after that you forget to look after yourself? Do you often forget to eat, or eat meals that are quick and easy, but lack nutrition? As mums, we tend to put everyone else’s needs and nutrition in front of our...
This is part 2 in a 2 part blog post series on how to be more present in your life. You can find part 1 here. In the first part of this blog series on how to be more present in your life, I shared this statistic with you: People are thinking about something...
This is part 1 of a 2 part series on how to be more present in your life. You can find part 2 here. Where are you right now? Physically, you might be at home, in the car, at work, at the park. Sitting, standing, lying down, rocking, walking. And you’re...
I’ve had quite a lot of practice at dealing with overwhelm over the years. When I was younger, I was always so keen to be involved in everything and to do everything to my perfectionistic standards, that sometimes it all just became too much. I also had a tendency to...
We are communicating all the time, with our significant other, our children, our friends and co-workers, but are we doing it in a mindful manner or are we just saying the first thing that comes to mind? Communication should be easy right? We hear someone say...
Turn up the heat in your bedroom Being parents is a lot of fun, and stress, but mainly fun. But, let’s not pretend it doesn’t make it hard when it comes to feeling sexy and finding “mummy and daddy” time. I know. I have three kids, I get it. So, let’s look at how we...
One of the things that regularly strikes me in conversations with mums, is that so many of us are reluctant to acknowledge our own strengths. We've created some clever strategies for avoiding it. We deflect with humour, point out the things that are wrong with us,...
Take a moment and think about all the questions you ask yourself as you care for your children. Are they hungry or thirsty? Is he cold? Does she need a hug? Do they need some quiet time? Do they need to run around outside? Is she scared or overwhelmed? Will they enjoy...