Mindset

Mindset is at the heart of everything we do. It impacts the way we see ourselves and others, the way we connect with our children and loved ones, the way we look after ourselves and the way we respond to challenges and changes. Our mindset directly impacts our happiness, resilience and what happens in our lives. Here you’ll find practical information, tips and stories from my own experience that will help you develop a helpful mindset for a happier, more confident life.

Have we got the definition of a strong woman wrong?

Have we got the definition of a strong woman wrong?

How would you define a strong woman? Perhaps you might use some of the following descriptions: Physically strong Confident Hard to persuade Unflappable Resilient Determined Independent In control Focused on her goals.   I used to think that being a strong woman...

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How our children invite us to learn and grow

How our children invite us to learn and grow

Have you ever heard that saying that goes something like “I was a much better parent before I had children”? I love it. Parenting is often much harder than we expect. We imagine that parenting will involve joyous afternoons at the park, quiet snuggles on the lounge (I...

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How to ask for help

How to ask for help

You know you need some help and you’ve decided you’re going to ask for it. That’s a huge step in itself. Asking for help can be really hard, especially for mothers in modern society where there are some very unrealistic expectations placed on women to do it all,...

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Why it’s so hard to ask for help

Why it’s so hard to ask for help

“Can you help me?” Four little words. They seem so simple yet mothers everywhere find them near impossible to say. What makes it hard is the meaning we attribute to asking for help. Without that meaning, asking for help is a neutral activity, neither positive or...

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Automatic Negative Thoughts: How to Identify and Manage Them

Automatic Negative Thoughts: How to Identify and Manage Them

Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are stories that we tell ourselves that aren’t necessarily true. They are distortions or negative interpretations of ourselves, what is happening around us, the past or the future, based on our beliefs and assumptions. ANTs happen...

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Why mothers need to speak up instead of staying silent

Why mothers need to speak up instead of staying silent

Have there been times when you have you kept quiet when you had something to say? For example, when... Someone crossed your boundary or hurt you? Another child mistreated your child? You didn’t want to do something you were being asked to do? You didn’t agree? Someone...

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Think you might be a perfectionist? 10 signs to look for

Think you might be a perfectionist? 10 signs to look for

Perfectionism is patterns of thinking and behaviours driven by the constant need to be or appear perfect (without flaws). It could also be described as the need to avoid being inadequate (anything less than perfect). For many years I proudly called myself a...

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How to interrupt the pattern of self blame

How to interrupt the pattern of self blame

When my son was 4, he was playing in the playground after kindergarten and decided to give the monkey bars a try. He always watched the other children swinging across but still liked me to hold him as he moved his arms from bar to bar. This time he wanted to do it...

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Learning the art of letting go. Again.

Learning the art of letting go. Again.

Letting go is a lesson and practice we live through over and over again. Life continues to present us with new opportunities to let go and sometimes we have such a tight grip on things, it takes several attempts to fully release. I love this quote from Ahjan Chah: “If...

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How to stop rushing through life

How to stop rushing through life

Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I’ll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...

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Are your expectations creating the reality you want?

Are your expectations creating the reality you want?

When my son was about 16 months old, I started to think about returning to work. I'd always expected I would return to the demanding corporate job that I loved. That’s what career women do. I expected I would place my son in childcare. That’s what working mothers do....

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How to deal with a bad day

How to deal with a bad day

I know that we’re expected to be loving motherhood, sailing through each day with a smile on our faces. That’s the myth of the perfect mum. In reality, we all have bad days and we don’t have to pretend that everything is wonderful when it’s not. Allowing ourselves to...

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Goodbye perfectionism, I don’t need you anymore

Goodbye perfectionism, I don’t need you anymore

Dear Perfectionism, I’ve decided it’s time we parted ways. We’ve been together a long time. I’m not even sure how it happened, but somewhere in childhood you became my constant companion. You came with me into adulthood and by that time I thought you were an asset. I...

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When you feel like you’ve lost your identity in motherhood

When you feel like you’ve lost your identity in motherhood

I don't know about you, but no one ever mentioned to me that motherhood might change who I am.  I received plenty of advice and information about how to care for my baby and some guidance around how to tend to my own practical needs, like sleep, nutrition and...

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How to deal with anger in motherhood – Part 2

How to deal with anger in motherhood – Part 2

Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I’ll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...

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How to deal with anger in motherhood – Part 1

How to deal with anger in motherhood – Part 1

I’m fascinated by volcanoes. My heart raced with excitement and awe when I stood in the hot steam rising from the ground, walked across kilometres of lava rock, and flew in a helicopter over the crater of the active volcano in Hawaii.          When...

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The beliefs that are making it hard for you to take a break

The beliefs that are making it hard for you to take a break

Does taking a break feel impossible? The sheer thought it makes you anxious or uncomfortable? Motherhood can feel all consuming, and when you add all the other responsibilities you're carrying, there just doesn’t seem to be time for a break. I’m not even necessarily...

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Why a good enough mother is truly good enough

Why a good enough mother is truly good enough

Do you feel like you’re constantly comparing yourself or being compared to the ideal of a perfect mother? With so much information and advice out there “helping” us to get things “right” so that our children will be the most intelligent, happiest and the most...

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How self-compassion can help you feel happier and more content

How self-compassion can help you feel happier and more content

When things aren't going the way we want them to, or we aren't coping as well as we think we should be, we can get caught up in criticising and judging ourselves. This can seem like a helpful and productive way to motivate ourselves to better actions and outcomes but...

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Confirmation bias: why your brain wants to prove you right

Confirmation bias: why your brain wants to prove you right

There's something important you need to know about your brain.  It likes to be right.  Being right feels good (thanks to the chemicals released in your brain) and it takes way less energy than always challenging your current view of the world. This means that, thanks...

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How to be a calmer, more connected parent

How to be a calmer, more connected parent

Do you ever wish you were a calmer parent? A more connected parent?  I think we all have moments where we miss the bar we set for ourselves in these areas. Parenting challenges us in ways we've never been challenged before and with every new child, and every new...

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How to ease loneliness in motherhood

How to ease loneliness in motherhood

Since late last year, I’ve had the privilege of looking after my stepdaughter’s beautiful baby girl once a week. It’s a pretty fortunate position to be in; I get to enjoy all the cuddles, smiles and fun, and build a lovely connection with her, but then (providing my...

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Is this the life you really want?

Is this the life you really want?

When you think about your life as it is now, how do you feel? How do you want to feel? How similar or different are your two responses?   I don’t know about you, but motherhood was not quite what I thought it would be.  Somehow, I thought it would be easier and...

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How to beat procrastination right now

How to beat procrastination right now

Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I’ll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...

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Create the life you want by being 100% responsible

Create the life you want by being 100% responsible

It’s nearly the end of the year and many of us are reflecting, thinking about what we’ve accomplished (or not quite achieved), enjoyed, found challenging and what we want to be different for the coming year. How has 2019 been for you? Has it fulfilled you? Brought you...

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Set clear boundaries to stay sane and enjoy Christmas

Set clear boundaries to stay sane and enjoy Christmas

The Christmas season provides plenty of opportunities to go beyond your usual limits. For example: How much you spend How often you socialise How much alcohol you drink How many responsibilities you take on How much sleep you get What you eat Who you spend time with....

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How to stop people pleasing

How to stop people pleasing

In my previous blog post, I wrote about how to say no with kindness and respect. While exploring the reasons that saying no is difficult, something came up that really resonated with the More to Mum community – people pleasing. I received numerous messages from mums,...

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