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Worry is a chain of negative thoughts about bad things that might happen in the future (Brene Brown, "Altas of the Heart"). It is a coping strategy we tend to employ when we feel anxious because we think (perhaps subconsciously) that it is helpful. Worrying feels...
Overfunctioning can be simpler to understand than to spot in our lives because people who overfunction tend to be seen as very responsible, reliable, helpful, competent and caring. They do all the things for all the people. Society celebrates people who are constantly...
There is no shortage of things we can worry about in motherhood, regardless of what stage we are in. Worry is thinking about all the potentially negative (from your perspective) possibilities that could eventuate in the future. The what-ifs. Sometimes these...
Society tells us that perfectionism is a good thing. Perhaps you too have been praised and rewarded for your high capacity, high standards, and meticulous work. You may have also believed that perfectionism was the same as trying your best and showing your commitment...
How would you define a strong woman? Perhaps you might use some of the following descriptions: Physically strong Confident Hard to persuade Unflappable Resilient Determined Independent In control Focused on her goals. I used to think that being a strong woman...
Have you ever heard that saying that goes something like “I was a much better parent before I had children”? I love it. Parenting is often much harder than we expect. We imagine that parenting will involve joyous afternoons at the park, quiet snuggles on the lounge (I...
You know you need some help and you’ve decided you’re going to ask for it. That’s a huge step in itself. Asking for help can be really hard, especially for mothers in modern society where there are some very unrealistic expectations placed on women to do it all,...
“Can you help me?” Four little words. They seem so simple yet mothers everywhere find them near impossible to say. What makes it hard is the meaning we attribute to asking for help. Without that meaning, asking for help is a neutral activity, neither positive or...
Perfectionism is patterns of thinking and behaviours driven by the constant need to be or appear perfect (without flaws). It could also be described as the need to avoid being inadequate (anything less than perfect). For many years I proudly called myself a...
When my son was 4, he was playing in the playground after kindergarten and decided to give the monkey bars a try. He always watched the other children swinging across but still liked me to hold him as he moved his arms from bar to bar. This time he wanted to do it...
Letting go is a lesson and practice we live through over and over again. Life continues to present us with new opportunities to let go and sometimes we have such a tight grip on things, it takes several attempts to fully release. I love this quote from Ahjan Chah: “If...
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I’ve had quite a lot of practice at dealing with overwhelm over the years. When I was younger, I was always so keen to be involved in everything and to do everything to my perfectionistic standards, that sometimes it all just became too much. I also had a tendency to...
Do you ever think about how you’ve changed and evolved throughout your life? As I turn 40 this week, I’ve been reflecting on exactly that. Whilst my core values haven’t really changed, I’m definitely not the same person I was in my 20s. Last weekend, I was blessed to...
Enjoy every moment It’s the sort of thing that well-meaning people say when you’re preparing for the birth of your baby. They also say it when you’re talking wistfully about how fast your children are growing up. Or when you’re sharing something about mum life that...
Overthinking is thinking about the same thing over and over, past the point of it being helpful. It may be something that has already happened or something you’re worried about in the future. When you’re overthinking, you’re going in circles in your mind and can’t...
Before having children you were in control of your life, responsible for yourself and doing what you wanted to do, when you wanted to do it. Now? Some days you can’t even shower. And getting out the door on time is nearly impossible. When you’re at the mercy of the...