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Many women experience a loss of confidence in motherhood. Psychology Dictionary Online defines self-confidence as an individual’s trust in his or her own abilities, capacities, and judgments, or belief that he or she can successfully face day-to-day challenges and...
Overfunctioning can be simpler to understand than to spot in our lives because people who overfunction tend to be seen as very responsible, reliable, helpful, competent and caring. They do all the things for all the people. Society celebrates people who are constantly...
Have you ever called yourself a bad mum, either out loud or in your mind? I certainly have and I know many other mums have too. I’ve been thinking about this label that we use. Why is it so prevalent? What does it even mean? And what is the impact of using it? I’m...
How would you define a strong woman? Perhaps you might use some of the following descriptions: Physically strong Confident Hard to persuade Unflappable Resilient Determined Independent In control Focused on her goals. I used to think that being a strong woman...
Have you ever heard that saying that goes something like “I was a much better parent before I had children”? I love it. Parenting is often much harder than we expect. We imagine that parenting will involve joyous afternoons at the park, quiet snuggles on the lounge (I...
Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are stories that we tell ourselves that aren’t necessarily true. They are distortions or negative interpretations of ourselves, what is happening around us, the past or the future, based on our beliefs and assumptions. ANTs happen...
When my son was 4, he was playing in the playground after kindergarten and decided to give the monkey bars a try. He always watched the other children swinging across but still liked me to hold him as he moved his arms from bar to bar. This time he wanted to do it...
Dear Perfectionism, I’ve decided it’s time we parted ways. We’ve been together a long time. I’m not even sure how it happened, but somewhere in childhood you became my constant companion. You came with me into adulthood and by that time I thought you were an asset. I...
From mid December and all the way through January we are surrounded by messages about reflecting on the year that is coming to an end and creating new year's resolutions. What did you achieve? What didn’t you achieve? How will you improve? What will you do next? Who...
It’s nearly the end of the year and many of us are reflecting, thinking about what we’ve accomplished (or not quite achieved), enjoyed, found challenging and what we want to be different for the coming year. How has 2019 been for you? Has it fulfilled you? Brought you...
So many mums feel like they are not good enough, every day. This feeling goes beyond mum guilt (which is already a challenge). Feeling not good enough creates shame within us. Brene Brown defines the difference between guilt and shame: “I believe that guilt is...
Imagine that your partner said to you: “You look awful today. I can see your stomach bulging over your pants and you haven’t even bothered to put any makeup on. You’ve really let yourself go.” Imagine that your best friend said to you: “Wow your house looks...
At the end of a long day, what plays on your mind? Is it something like any of these? The way you yelled at your son? That you were late to child care or school pick up because of your paid job? How you didn’t really listen when your daughter was telling you (for the...
Do you ever feel like some day, someone is going to find out that you’re a great big fraud!? That someone is going to realise that you: Aren’t as good a mum as you seem to be Aren’t coping as well as you “should” be Have no idea what you’re doing in raising your...
This week I'm celebrating my 39th birthday. I’ve always loved getting older. For a long time, I’ve rounded up my age in the last 6 months before my birthday. Is that a bit strange? I think the reason I’m so excited about getting older is that I associate it with...
‘I’m just not creative’ ‘I can’t sing’ ‘I’m no good at that’ ‘I can’t cook’ ‘I’m not very smart’ ‘I’m so disorganised’ ‘I’m hopeless at being patient with my children’ ‘I’m just not nurturing’ Have you ever heard people say things like that? Have you said them...