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Worry is a chain of negative thoughts about bad things that might happen in the future (Brene Brown, "Altas of the Heart"). It is a coping strategy we tend to employ when we feel anxious because we think (perhaps subconsciously) that it is helpful. Worrying feels...
The beliefs we hold form the lens through which we view and interpret the world around us and all our experiences. They help us make sense of situations and inform our decisions and actions. This happens both consciously and subconsciously. Some of our beliefs support...
Perfection is so alluring. We love our children so deeply that it makes sense that we would want to give them the best start to life and the best opportunity to flourish through being the perfect mum. We are parenting in a society that places excessive pressure on...
Be positive! Look on the bright side! Good vibes only! Do you feel like you should be happy all the time? Happiness is celebrated and heavily promoted in our society (just think about all the happy people you see in marketing campaigns). We adopt it as a goal to work...
Our brains are constantly on the lookout for things that might harm us and in doing so, they create a lot of difficult thoughts. These thoughts might relate to pain from the past, challenges we are facing in the present or fear about the future. Positive thinking is...
Overfunctioning can be simpler to understand than to spot in our lives because people who overfunction tend to be seen as very responsible, reliable, helpful, competent and caring. They do all the things for all the people. Society celebrates people who are constantly...
Recently, a beautiful woman in the More to Mum community asked me if you could ever give yourself too much self-compassion. She wondered if there was a point where you just had to take accountability for what you’ve done and do better. As I listened to her describe...
We all experience frustration in motherhood. As explained by Brené Brown in her book "Atlas of the Heart", frustration occurs when something that feels out of our control is preventing us from achieving our desired outcome. We don't think that we can fix the...
Have you felt resentment in motherhood? Resentment is one of those emotions that we wish we didn’t have, yet it can feel so justified. It’s not an enjoyable way to feel and most of us don’t want to be perceived as resentful or bitter. Women often feel guilty for...
As mothers in modern society, our lives are consumed by the needs of others. Time to ourselves can feel impossible and if we do get the chance to have a break, it often comes with a lot of guilt. Lovely, you are not here merely to take care of others. Taking care of...
This is part 2 of a two-part blog series about making meditation easy and manageable for both mums and kids. In this series, I'm talking to Alysse Di Natale, founder of Young Yoga and the Meditate with Friends app. Alysse is passionate about supporting the wellbeing...
Have you ever wanted to try meditation but felt that it was too hard, time-consuming, spiritual or that you just weren't any good at emptying your mind? I hear these concerns from lots of women who have heard about the benefits of meditation but aren't sure if can...
Do you have the sense that something is missing in your life? Perhaps you’re not sure what it is, but there’s a longing for something different. This is not unusual in motherhood, for a number of reasons, including: Motherhood is often not what women expect. We’ve...
Nearly every mother I speak to wants strategies to stay calm and deal with stressful situations more effectively. We are mothering and living in stressful, uncertain times with incredible amounts of pressure placed on us to live up to unrealistic expectations. Our...
There is no shortage of things we can worry about in motherhood, regardless of what stage we are in. Worry is thinking about all the potentially negative (from your perspective) possibilities that could eventuate in the future. The what-ifs. Sometimes these...
A man walks through the door and greets his wife. “What did you do today?”, he asks. “Nothing” she says in a weary tone. “I didn’t get anything done!” Truth is, she’s hardly taken a breath. She’s spent her entire day cleaning and tidying, preparing food, organising,...
Have you ever called yourself a bad mum, either out loud or in your mind? I certainly have and I know many other mums have too. I’ve been thinking about this label that we use. Why is it so prevalent? What does it even mean? And what is the impact of using it? I’m...
Society tells us that perfectionism is a good thing. Perhaps you too have been praised and rewarded for your high capacity, high standards, and meticulous work. You may have also believed that perfectionism was the same as trying your best and showing your commitment...
How would you define a strong woman? Perhaps you might use some of the following descriptions: Physically strong Confident Hard to persuade Unflappable Resilient Determined Independent In control Focused on her goals. I used to think that being a strong woman...
Do you know what your personal values are? Defining and aligning to our personal values can help us feel motivated, inspired and live a rich and meaningful life. When we know what’s most important to us we can look for ways to have more of this in our lives. In...
You know you need some help and you’ve decided you’re going to ask for it. That’s a huge step in itself. Asking for help can be really hard, especially for mothers in modern society where there are some very unrealistic expectations placed on women to do it all,...
“Can you help me?” Four little words. They seem so simple yet mothers everywhere find them near impossible to say. What makes it hard is the meaning we attribute to asking for help. Without that meaning, asking for help is a neutral activity, neither positive or...
Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are stories that we tell ourselves that aren’t necessarily true. They are distortions or negative interpretations of ourselves, what is happening around us, the past or the future, based on our beliefs and assumptions. ANTs happen...
Have there been times when you have you kept quiet when you had something to say? For example, when... Someone crossed your boundary or hurt you? Another child mistreated your child? You didn’t want to do something you were being asked to do? You didn’t agree? Someone...
Sadness, burnout, fear, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, frustration, anger, resentment, shame, embarrassment, disgust. Mothers feel them. But often we don’t like to talk about them. What will people think? If perfect mum is always composed, in control, calm, happy, on top...
When my son was 4, he was playing in the playground after kindergarten and decided to give the monkey bars a try. He always watched the other children swinging across but still liked me to hold him as he moved his arms from bar to bar. This time he wanted to do it...
Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I’ll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...
Ever feel like you’re getting this self-care thing wrong? Not doing enough or doing too much. Not wanting to do it, not enjoying it enough or doing it with so much guilt. Not being consistent, not sticking to your plans or not starting at all. Not doing the right...
Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I’ll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...
I’m fascinated by volcanoes. My heart raced with excitement and awe when I stood in the hot steam rising from the ground, walked across kilometres of lava rock, and flew in a helicopter over the crater of the active volcano in Hawaii. When...