Perfectionism

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4 strategies to help you worry less

4 strategies to help you worry less

Worry is a chain of negative thoughts about bad things that might happen in the future (Brene Brown, "Altas of the Heart"). It is a coping strategy we tend to employ when we feel anxious because we think (perhaps subconsciously) that it is helpful. Worrying feels...

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Releasing unsupportive beliefs with Root Cause Therapy

Releasing unsupportive beliefs with Root Cause Therapy

The beliefs we hold form the lens through which we view and interpret the world around us and all our experiences. They help us make sense of situations and inform our decisions and actions. This happens both consciously and subconsciously. Some of our beliefs support...

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What I wish I had known at the beginning of motherhood

What I wish I had known at the beginning of motherhood

In this article, we hear from Rachel Preston Broughton, who has two beautiful children and generously shares with us her reflections on motherhood so far. Enjoy reading about the things Rachel wishes she had known back when she first became a mother.   As a mum...

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4 Steps to help you break free from the perfect mother myth

4 Steps to help you break free from the perfect mother myth

Perfection is so alluring. We love our children so deeply that it makes sense that we would want to give them the best start to life and the best opportunity to flourish through being the perfect mum. We are parenting in a society that places excessive pressure on...

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How to stop struggling with difficult thoughts

How to stop struggling with difficult thoughts

Our brains are constantly on the lookout for things that might harm us and in doing so, they create a lot of difficult thoughts. These thoughts might relate to pain from the past, challenges we are facing in the present or fear about the future. Positive thinking is...

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Is overfunctioning creating more stress in your life?

Is overfunctioning creating more stress in your life?

Overfunctioning can be simpler to understand than to spot in our lives because people who overfunction tend to be seen as very responsible, reliable, helpful, competent and caring. They do all the things for all the people. Society celebrates people who are constantly...

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Can you ever give yourself too much self-compassion?

Can you ever give yourself too much self-compassion?

Recently, a beautiful woman in the More to Mum community asked me if you could ever give yourself too much self-compassion. She wondered if there was a point where you just had to take accountability for what you’ve done and do better. As I listened to her describe...

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Why it’s hard to be present in the moment

Why it’s hard to be present in the moment

Recently I was listening to a podcast, and I had to replay the first 10 minutes four times because my mind kept wandering!  Do you find it hard to stay present in the moment? You're not the only one. I often get asked for advice about how to be more present in our...

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Navigating the pressure to be productive all the time

Navigating the pressure to be productive all the time

A man walks through the door and greets his wife. “What did you do today?”, he asks. “Nothing” she says in a weary tone. “I didn’t get anything done!” Truth is, she’s hardly taken a breath. She’s spent her entire day cleaning and tidying, preparing food, organising,...

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Let’s not call ourselves bad mums anymore

Let’s not call ourselves bad mums anymore

Have you ever called yourself a bad mum, either out loud or in your mind? I certainly have and I know many other mums have too. I’ve been thinking about this label that we use. Why is it so prevalent? What does it even mean? And what is the impact of using it? I’m...

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5 strategies to help you overcome perfectionism

5 strategies to help you overcome perfectionism

Society tells us that perfectionism is a good thing. Perhaps you too have been praised and rewarded for your high capacity, high standards, and meticulous work. You may have also believed that perfectionism was the same as trying your best and showing your commitment...

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Have we got the definition of a strong woman wrong?

Have we got the definition of a strong woman wrong?

How would you define a strong woman? Perhaps you might use some of the following descriptions: Physically strong Confident Hard to persuade Unflappable Resilient Determined Independent In control Focused on her goals.   I used to think that being a strong woman...

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How our children invite us to learn and grow

How our children invite us to learn and grow

Have you ever heard that saying that goes something like “I was a much better parent before I had children”? I love it. Parenting is often much harder than we expect. We imagine that parenting will involve joyous afternoons at the park, quiet snuggles on the lounge (I...

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Using your values to create a rich and fulfilling life

Using your values to create a rich and fulfilling life

Do you know what your personal values are? Defining and aligning to our personal values can help us feel motivated, inspired and live a rich and meaningful life. When we know what’s most important to us we can look for ways to have more of this in our lives. In...

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How to ask for help

How to ask for help

You know you need some help and you’ve decided you’re going to ask for it. That’s a huge step in itself. Asking for help can be really hard, especially for mothers in modern society where there are some very unrealistic expectations placed on women to do it all,...

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Why it’s so hard to ask for help

Why it’s so hard to ask for help

“Can you help me?” Four little words. They seem so simple yet mothers everywhere find them near impossible to say. What makes it hard is the meaning we attribute to asking for help. Without that meaning, asking for help is a neutral activity, neither positive or...

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Why mothers need to speak up instead of staying silent

Why mothers need to speak up instead of staying silent

Have there been times when you have you kept quiet when you had something to say? For example, when... Someone crossed your boundary or hurt you? Another child mistreated your child? You didn’t want to do something you were being asked to do? You didn’t agree? Someone...

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The truth about the difficult emotions of motherhood

The truth about the difficult emotions of motherhood

Sadness, burnout, fear, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, frustration, anger, resentment, shame, embarrassment, disgust. Mothers feel them. But often we don’t like to talk about them. What will people think? If perfect mum is always composed, in control, calm, happy, on top...

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Think you might be a perfectionist? 10 signs to look for

Think you might be a perfectionist? 10 signs to look for

Perfectionism is patterns of thinking and behaviours driven by the constant need to be or appear perfect (without flaws). It could also be described as the need to avoid being inadequate (anything less than perfect). For many years I proudly called myself a...

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How to interrupt the pattern of self blame

How to interrupt the pattern of self blame

When my son was 4, he was playing in the playground after kindergarten and decided to give the monkey bars a try. He always watched the other children swinging across but still liked me to hold him as he moved his arms from bar to bar. This time he wanted to do it...

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Learning the art of letting go. Again.

Learning the art of letting go. Again.

Letting go is a lesson and practice we live through over and over again. Life continues to present us with new opportunities to let go and sometimes we have such a tight grip on things, it takes several attempts to fully release. I love this quote from Ahjan Chah: “If...

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Are your expectations creating the reality you want?

Are your expectations creating the reality you want?

When my son was about 16 months old, I started to think about returning to work. I'd always expected I would return to the demanding corporate job that I loved. That’s what career women do. I expected I would place my son in childcare. That’s what working mothers do....

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Goodbye perfectionism, I don’t need you anymore

Goodbye perfectionism, I don’t need you anymore

Dear Perfectionism, I’ve decided it’s time we parted ways. We’ve been together a long time. I’m not even sure how it happened, but somewhere in childhood you became my constant companion. You came with me into adulthood and by that time I thought you were an asset. I...

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Why a good enough mother is truly good enough

Why a good enough mother is truly good enough

Do you feel like you’re constantly comparing yourself or being compared to the ideal of a perfect mother? With so much information and advice out there “helping” us to get things “right” so that our children will be the most intelligent, happiest and the most...

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How to beat procrastination right now

How to beat procrastination right now

Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link, and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a small commission if you decide to purchase after clicking through the link. I’ll only ever recommend things that I love and believe will help you, and the decision to...

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Self compassionate alternatives to new year’s resolutions

Self compassionate alternatives to new year’s resolutions

From mid December and all the way through January we are surrounded by messages about reflecting on the year that is coming to an end and creating new year's resolutions. What did you achieve? What didn’t you achieve? How will you improve? What will you do next?  Who...

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Create the life you want by being 100% responsible

Create the life you want by being 100% responsible

It’s nearly the end of the year and many of us are reflecting, thinking about what we’ve accomplished (or not quite achieved), enjoyed, found challenging and what we want to be different for the coming year. How has 2019 been for you? Has it fulfilled you? Brought you...

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